Feet Under Water

I use a lot of power in every day tasks. I really, really want to believe I use just as much as the next person. I try not to think too much of it.  Then again, part of what I am preaching away to crowd in my line of work is all about awareness and what can be done about it.  It's a little bit of a pickle these days, isn't it? All hype over sustainability and anything/everything stamped with "green"... is...very very overwhelming. Is it advocating more panic more than good? Of course, there are also others who take opportunity in society's ignorance to make way with a new brand of pop culture. What isn't a sort of cultural following anyways? In saying that, I personally know quite a number of people who have always been living like the fathers before them. People whom, while still believing that technology has indeed made the world an interesting place, maintained the boundaries of independence from it.  I envy those who still stand their ground for the ...

The results of sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's for 20 minutes....

Its been about three weeks and four days since the 'invisibility cloak' was left on the hook behind my bedroom door. I grimaced at the thought of hiding under it again. Should I? It was so easy to do... so natural... No, no I am stronger than this. I am doing so well already Sure 'it' had its magical moments, it is what magic does, it will remain to be, but what do I do? oh what do i do? I still cannot decide what or how I am feeling without 'it' After all, I had always wanted 'it' I was safe and I felt saved I have 'the cloak' I have 'it', and I liked the velvety comfort the secure cover, away from prying world secret and safe like all things magical and mythical and nice Away, but alone It feels strange, if I can call it that. To be seen, to be heard again. To breathe, to talk and be talked to. Did I mention, to be looked again? I truly have forgotten what it is like to be... Without 'it'. Ju...

I am with him, walking beside him but he seems very far away. He kisses my forehead but his eyes were elsewhere and I wondered what possibly could be that distracting.Oh yes. He loves his home country. The history, space, the landscape. It amuses me that he doesn't seem fazed by anything surrounding him when he is preoccupied with his thoughts, or when in awe of a presence of some sort. The machine, the wheels, whatever it was that powers the motors of his brain definitely works for one thing at a time. He reads aloud to me the agreement, the Treaty of Waitangi, I am watching him closely and yes I think I see more than just lukewarm sentiment when he gets down on his knee. I took more photos, of me, of him so he could reminisce and see, That is the day we went to Waitangi

3, 2, 1... Tis the season to be jolly... tra la la la, la la la la Happy Xmas... Holidays here in NZ, sadly never much a big festive thing as it is back in Malaysia. Although, its always a party where booze is concerned, isnt it? Does make it a little dull for the rest of us who chooses sobriety.... I must say it is still a holiday time best spent with loved ones. Or big groups that enjoy one another. Warmth, lots of love and just a merry mood all around. Who needs excuse to be happy with everything you are blessed with? My christmas wish?  For my personal green grinch to finally see his beautiful blessed life.And maybe one day he will finally understand where I am coming from when I just wanna be celebrating things, even if it has nothing to do with my beliefs or cultural background. Sigh.

Boxes here. Boxes there. No bed still. Just good old hefty mattress. Big, big, white room. Lots of closet space. What is it now? Third? Or is it fifth? "Fourth, sweetheart," confirms Mom when I finally got the computer online again. Yes, Mom. I have moved into my fourth apartment since January this year. I had valid reasons. Honest. University had started already when I got my offer letter. The worst possible time to be flat-hunting in the big little city of Auckland.  All I had was my bag pack and academic certificates I carry around from one city to the next, aiming at keeping residency status by just staying in the country. My friend from Wellington was gracious enough to offer me her mother's roof for a few weeks before I found a decent place close enough to start with. It was out of my price range and came with a much-too-young room mate whom was sweet girl, but very little awareness of the world around her. I had a good excuse to leave, explainin...

I believe I have successfully made this cheese cake test run to formally bake another one for my partner's 26th birthday.  Yeay. One more to add to the accomplishment list! Home made cheese cake! Get a bunch of girls to gather around for a cooking experiment after a good day working and it's all good fun filled evening of laughter and good results. This is why I love making food, I think. It just fills the gap quick. It's also cool having friends who bake.  I am a terrible baker so I need all the tips I can get.  I cook well ( I like to think so, anyway) but baking, is just something that I struggle. Or maybe I just get lazy with precise measurements. I dont know. My old high school friend, who has been staying in Ireland over seven years, however, had perfected her skills and more than willing to share with the rest of us archi geeks. Even after I haven't seen her in over ten years, we still had heaps in common. And it's not awkward at all like I imagined it w...