Feet Under Water

It was just a little over 9 o'clock in the evening, and I had just returned from another day out with my ever-loyal girlfriend, Anna who was helping me stay sane after the break up of my long-time boyfriend of five years. I did not expect to have someone wait for my return, but there she was- the land-lady, opening the front door for me just as I walked up the driveway where Anna dropped me off. I felt a little bit guilty as I knew it was past her bedtime. Her face was always blank. It was always hard to tell what she is thinking. Through the dim light of her front porch, I thought I saw her almost smiling, but I couldn't tell for certain. "You ate dinner?" She asks. I shook my head lightly. I had planned to, I thought to myself, but I ended up with my head in Anna's pillows drowning my tears again. There was not much space left for food. She shook her head quietly, disapprovingly as she stepped back for me to enter the house. Her finger motioned for m...

Gizmodo today wrote about the new Photoshop launched for Ipad. How cool is that? Obviously I am among the many fans out there, still having the will power (and lack of funds) to stall a while longer than joining the ipad cult. Call me practical. Ish. I try to justify my reasoning to get one of those when I can finally use it as part of ALL of my daily activities- alarm, fitness,recipes, social AND- make some money for me self too. Currently my non-camera installed ipod touch still works pretty well. Minus the face time and video recording stuff, Autodesk Sketchbook works perfectly in accompanying and filling my time long queues and waiting rooms with good music to keep me sane. Now that the front facing camera is out on ipad2, my saliva is definitely dropping twice as much. We'll hope to see some more CAD Design application and yip- no more excuses. Sigh. Sadly tho, it doesnt look like my bank account is gonna allow this just yet. Between the $230 splurge on a...

I use a lot of power in every day tasks. I really, really want to believe I use just as much as the next person. I try not to think too much of it.  Then again, part of what I am preaching away to crowd in my line of work is all about awareness and what can be done about it.  It's a little bit of a pickle these days, isn't it? All hype over sustainability and anything/everything stamped with "green"... is...very very overwhelming. Is it advocating more panic more than good? Of course, there are also others who take opportunity in society's ignorance to make way with a new brand of pop culture. What isn't a sort of cultural following anyways? In saying that, I personally know quite a number of people who have always been living like the fathers before them. People whom, while still believing that technology has indeed made the world an interesting place, maintained the boundaries of independence from it.  I envy those who still stand their ground for the ...

The results of sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's for 20 minutes....

Its been about three weeks and four days since the 'invisibility cloak' was left on the hook behind my bedroom door. I grimaced at the thought of hiding under it again. Should I? It was so easy to do... so natural... No, no I am stronger than this. I am doing so well already Sure 'it' had its magical moments, it is what magic does, it will remain to be, but what do I do? oh what do i do? I still cannot decide what or how I am feeling without 'it' After all, I had always wanted 'it' I was safe and I felt saved I have 'the cloak' I have 'it', and I liked the velvety comfort the secure cover, away from prying world secret and safe like all things magical and mythical and nice Away, but alone It feels strange, if I can call it that. To be seen, to be heard again. To breathe, to talk and be talked to. Did I mention, to be looked again? I truly have forgotten what it is like to be... Without 'it'. Ju...

I am with him, walking beside him but he seems very far away. He kisses my forehead but his eyes were elsewhere and I wondered what possibly could be that distracting.Oh yes. He loves his home country. The history, space, the landscape. It amuses me that he doesn't seem fazed by anything surrounding him when he is preoccupied with his thoughts, or when in awe of a presence of some sort. The machine, the wheels, whatever it was that powers the motors of his brain definitely works for one thing at a time. He reads aloud to me the agreement, the Treaty of Waitangi, I am watching him closely and yes I think I see more than just lukewarm sentiment when he gets down on his knee. I took more photos, of me, of him so he could reminisce and see, That is the day we went to Waitangi

3, 2, 1... Tis the season to be jolly... tra la la la, la la la la Happy Xmas... Holidays here in NZ, sadly never much a big festive thing as it is back in Malaysia. Although, its always a party where booze is concerned, isnt it? Does make it a little dull for the rest of us who chooses sobriety.... I must say it is still a holiday time best spent with loved ones. Or big groups that enjoy one another. Warmth, lots of love and just a merry mood all around. Who needs excuse to be happy with everything you are blessed with? My christmas wish?  For my personal green grinch to finally see his beautiful blessed life.And maybe one day he will finally understand where I am coming from when I just wanna be celebrating things, even if it has nothing to do with my beliefs or cultural background. Sigh.