Lucky me
Couple days ago a guy at work made a comment about how lucky the 'modern women' today that we get to go to work and learn new things and do everything ourselves in comparison to just sitting at home and bore ourselves to death while waiting for the kids to grow up.
Yeah. I know.
He was just making conversation as he fixes the bugs on our PCs.
But really, lucky?
My young but feisty colleague shot him a dirty look and rolled her eyes. "That's only cause the modern men are lazier and less masculine than it used to be. We let you rule the world and you get the wrong things home. So just step aside, and we go get them ourselves. Now we have to do two jobs instead of one." She pauses and then sighs. "I'd trade washing clothes and cooking food any day than having to yell at contractors not plastering the walls up to the soffit to save bloody costs!"
I giggled and we high-fived. Okay it's obvious we were never gonna be holding any banners for feminine rights anytime soon (sorry gals) set but it's the truth. I love my job, the perks, the intensity and the reward seeing my designs and sketches erected up and works as it should.
But at the end of the day, its not ultimate fulfillment is it?All the stress, the late nights, the corruption....Its personal triumph and it keeps me on my toes but I can't quite share it with anybody. Nobody that matters to me anyway.
If I ended up making a succulent meat roast for Sunday and it gets eaten to the bones within minutes...well, that's more of a success to me even if that too, gets me tired and burnt out the same way. But I guess I like 'em both. I wonder if that's weird?
Then again, perhaps its a cultural thing. I don't know. Maybe it's just a couple of us with this weird disease. For those of us who have emotionally supportive partners, its awesome. My boyfriend's colleague cooks for her when she gets home, drives her everywhere and from what I see, they seem pretty happy. He didn't mind swapping roles. So it's good. My experience of devoting almost four years to the same man, however, didn't pan out too good.
I almost gave up my career and my family just so we could be in the same continent. All because he took care of everything. (or thought he did) Like I had assumed a real man would. I just didn't know that included re-doing all my tasks, the dishes, my laces,my personal research, and my faith in things. He was the man. And I started just resenting him for all of it. Mostly for not trusting my abilities in anything and everything. I didn't know when it started happening, but the girl I was before we met was suddenly just...gone. And then I think when he realized that he broke me, he just couldn't stay to face the truth. So he fled halfway across the world and told me to go home. Via Skype I might add. Yup.
Two relationships later and yes. It's still proven to be a lesser pain route, to opt for work and family over choosing a man. No matter how pretty his eyes, and sculpted his shoulders are. Or the fact that when I get texts of smiley face, and my whole day really does gets brighter...
ahh...
Sometimes I can't help but wonder do I really have to choose one over another?
Its both equally important isn't it?
The IT guy looked slightly weirded out by our outbursts but really who cares? I smiled, so he smiled, and went on fixing our computers quietly as my colleague and I both grabbed our tablets for the next coming meeting. I left the IT guy a brownie I baked from last night as token of appreciation. Even after he insisted that I probably bought it on my way to work.
Ah. Funny Men.He is right. I am lucky. We are lucky. Twenty years ago I would have to cave in to the man and possibly stay stranded.
Just another day braving the world....as the modern woman should.
;)
Yeah. I know.
He was just making conversation as he fixes the bugs on our PCs.
But really, lucky?
My young but feisty colleague shot him a dirty look and rolled her eyes. "That's only cause the modern men are lazier and less masculine than it used to be. We let you rule the world and you get the wrong things home. So just step aside, and we go get them ourselves. Now we have to do two jobs instead of one." She pauses and then sighs. "I'd trade washing clothes and cooking food any day than having to yell at contractors not plastering the walls up to the soffit to save bloody costs!"
I giggled and we high-fived. Okay it's obvious we were never gonna be holding any banners for feminine rights anytime soon (sorry gals) set but it's the truth. I love my job, the perks, the intensity and the reward seeing my designs and sketches erected up and works as it should.
But at the end of the day, its not ultimate fulfillment is it?All the stress, the late nights, the corruption....Its personal triumph and it keeps me on my toes but I can't quite share it with anybody. Nobody that matters to me anyway.
If I ended up making a succulent meat roast for Sunday and it gets eaten to the bones within minutes...well, that's more of a success to me even if that too, gets me tired and burnt out the same way. But I guess I like 'em both. I wonder if that's weird?
Then again, perhaps its a cultural thing. I don't know. Maybe it's just a couple of us with this weird disease. For those of us who have emotionally supportive partners, its awesome. My boyfriend's colleague cooks for her when she gets home, drives her everywhere and from what I see, they seem pretty happy. He didn't mind swapping roles. So it's good. My experience of devoting almost four years to the same man, however, didn't pan out too good.
I almost gave up my career and my family just so we could be in the same continent. All because he took care of everything. (or thought he did) Like I had assumed a real man would. I just didn't know that included re-doing all my tasks, the dishes, my laces,my personal research, and my faith in things. He was the man. And I started just resenting him for all of it. Mostly for not trusting my abilities in anything and everything. I didn't know when it started happening, but the girl I was before we met was suddenly just...gone. And then I think when he realized that he broke me, he just couldn't stay to face the truth. So he fled halfway across the world and told me to go home. Via Skype I might add. Yup.
Two relationships later and yes. It's still proven to be a lesser pain route, to opt for work and family over choosing a man. No matter how pretty his eyes, and sculpted his shoulders are. Or the fact that when I get texts of smiley face, and my whole day really does gets brighter...
ahh...
Sometimes I can't help but wonder do I really have to choose one over another?
Its both equally important isn't it?
The IT guy looked slightly weirded out by our outbursts but really who cares? I smiled, so he smiled, and went on fixing our computers quietly as my colleague and I both grabbed our tablets for the next coming meeting. I left the IT guy a brownie I baked from last night as token of appreciation. Even after he insisted that I probably bought it on my way to work.
Ah. Funny Men.He is right. I am lucky. We are lucky. Twenty years ago I would have to cave in to the man and possibly stay stranded.
Just another day braving the world....as the modern woman should.
;)
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